Monday, February 1, 2016

Goats for Monkey 2016

It was only 5 years ago when I started to actively review my Chinese Horoscope forecast for the coming year.  The reason why i started to do so was due to my boss then, who was a big believer of astrological things like these that we spend a whole afternoon discussing each and every member of the team's horoscope and personalities based on that.  

It was also 5 years ago when i started to actually consult Feng Shui shops on which amulets is good for the coming year specific to the year of the Goat people, like me.  I also found out that Goats have secret friends and they are the Horses.  It is believed that secret friends in the Chinese Astrology, are those you gain strength from in low times.   My husband was worn on a Year of the Horse.  So was 2 of my favorite bosses.  And this made me somehow believe in it more as i do get along well with all three of them.

With the Chinese New Year coming up next week, of course I started to read on my forecast for the year.  There are several websites available and this morning, reading on to maybe 4th or 5th site I chanced upon, the long read concluded to this:

"To conclude, the Sheep Horoscope 2016 predicts that in the Year of the Monkey, the goats will have to be patient and analyze what is stopping them from succeeding in life."

The full forecast can be found here.

Another year it is for patience and analysis.  The real question is, defining what is "success" means for me.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

The struggle is real!

I sit in front of my computer this Sunday night, last day of January, year 2016.  Still wondering and trying to figure out, the struggle we call life.

Where was I 20 years ago? 1996.  That was the last few months of my Senior year in high school.  During then, I was still awaiting the results of my college admission exams.  It was also the same time 20 years ago that I was in pain brought about by a high school love.  He just decided not to to speak to me after the Christmas break.  I was so confused and at a lost trying to understand what i had done that made him vanish my presence in his life, just like that.  Everyone was preparing for prom.  And he was partnered with someone from the lower year for the cotillion.  My partner was Serafin.  There I was 20 years ago, confused and lost, anxious about the future, in pain yet stayed strong.  

And 10 years ago? 2006. That was the year, we decided we to get married.  It was August 2006 when we told my parents about it.  We had dinner in Poquito Mas in Alabang to ask for their blessing.  That decision to get married must be one of the major decisions in my life that I was so sure of.  I knew we had differences, I knew that despite knowing him for years, the fact was that I still don't know him, I knew that it would be a struggle as we had different views on dozens of things.  But I also knew that that i was willing to learn and adjust for him. We got married 7 months later in 2007.

How about last year?  2015?  I was bothered and worried on some news going around the office about the boss then leaving the company.  When he replied to my message that we will have lunch the following day, i knew that it was true.  My boss then, is my favorite Boss in the world, I can go on and on with the good and the bad things about him, and I would still say that he's my favorite boss in the world. 

Where is this all going?  I really don't know... What I was trying to arrive at is the fact that the struggle is indeed real.  I want to make a difference in the world.  That's what I really want to do.  I just am not sure, which aspect of this life I can actually change.  How can I change the world when I can't even figure out myself?    

Sunday, November 22, 2015


Happy Birthday to me!

My dad passed away exactly 6 years ago today!  Of all the other days of the year, he decided to go on my birthday.  I clearly remember that day in 2009.  He sent me birthday greeting at 6am about being proud of me and that being happy and acceptance of whatever the outcome is of that day.  My dad would usually send super dramatic birthday greetings that would always bring me to tears. Six years later, i still cry every Nov 22, and its because i have no dramatic and life-reflecting message from him.

6 years after, without exaggeration, not a single day goes by without me remembering him.  And every year since then, i just seem to remember too much on this day.  Im going to cry today.  And since its my birthday, i hope no one will stop me.  

I love you Pa.  I miss you EVERYDAY. 

Saturday, September 26, 2015

How traveling makes me appreciate life

There's this show in discovery channel before entitled "TRAVELERS" and i always imagined myself being part of the crew. I love the idea how these group of individuals travel around the world tounderstand  different cultures and lifestyles. 

Yesterday, i got in the car, packed some stuff (including my kids, ofcourse) and drove north to surprise the husband who has been away for a week for offsite work.  At 4pm yesterday, we were 100kms away from home and i was awed by the fact that its was just 4pm and im very far from my usual daily spots - i.e. Home-office-store. 

I just had to get out of my routinary roads and explore. And we did. 

We got home tonight, and though it was a short trip, i must say that drive, despite stressful, was very fulfilling. It fulfilled its goal to have a bit of change and breather.