Sunday, July 15, 2018

Extreme 2018

I believe that i am in touch with my emotions.
I go through my entries for the past years and i can say i spend time a few times a year to try to understand the extremities of what i undergo emotionally.

2018, has been a roller coaster ride since January. 

In its truest sense...

I love, I hate. 
I cry, I laugh. 
Extreme happiness, and deep falls.
Ignorance and discoveries.

For 2018, feels like the theme is "EXTREMITIES".

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Its just you and me

After more than 10years of public blogging. I turn you off and kept you just for myself.
I guess i never really thought that there was someone else reading you.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

28 days into confession...

Sometimes I wish that i know less... the less we know, the less we wonder...

It has been 28 days since i admitted something to someone and as much as it liberated me, i also sometimes think what could have been if i didn't.

Its a mix of good and bad feelings.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Three Little Birds

three little birds... pitch by my doorstep

This Bob Marley song is my go-to song when big time sh*t happens:
1998 When i broke my heart big time in college
2000 When i found out i was pregnant at 20.
2003 When i finally accepted that i will have to raise Ada by myself.
2009 When i quit my job of 6 years because change was needed
2009 When my dad died on the day of my 30th birthday.
2018 Well, 2018.

I have been thinking of getting a tattoo since college but never really had the guts to just do it.  Maybe because everyone around me is doing it, and i wanted to be different by not conforming.  Or I'm just a scaredy cat.

So i finally did it.  I've always wanted to get birds so i did. 

The 2018 sh*it I can say is a big one.  After 20 years of on-and-off contemplation, i finally drove to the tat shop and scheduled the session.

That was yesterday, and the original sched was supposedly next weekend but the Universe wanted me to do it sooner when an hour after my initial discussion with the artist, someone cancelled that left a slot open for me.

So I did. And i have never been so sure about something for so long.  Which i think reflects the 2018 sh*t. I had to get it done already because i needed that daily reminder that EVERY LITTLE THING IS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. Not because the 2018 sh*t is bigger than those in the past 20 years, its just that it made me realize that life is short and if you have something you want to express, we should just say it or show it.

So I am. And i will embrace this predicament.  Not only because its real but also because it reminds me how much i can love and living without love is not living at all.