Monday, March 2, 2009

My time with Myself

We had an eventful weekend which started Friday...  And I may have to write 4-5 different entries to cover everything that happened...

The husband arrived Thursday night from Leyte and I insisted on picking him up from the airport. Mainly because: 1.)  i love picking people up from a long trip, 2) the NAIA 3 airport is really nice; and 3.) i did miss him  :-)

Their flight was delayed for 30 mins or so and before they could board the plane, I was already in the airport and having my Jollibee Chicken Joy dinner at the 3rd floor food area. 

I then decided to spend the rest of my waiting time in Figaro (1st level, Arrival meet-up place).  Got a 16oz Latte, (which i regretted after)  and 4 different magazines.  I like alone moments like this.  It makes me think and converse with  myself.  I honestly believe this is not a crazy exercise. I have learned most of my lessons in life during those moments with myself.  Like long trips alone.  Or even short trips.  I have made it a practice to take down notes in my cellphone during these "fruitful" moments. And it surprises me when I try to read it a few days or weeks after.  Some even sounded to serious and too poetic that made me say, "Did I really write this?" Here is an example:

Fake Smiles: "When I try to dig deeper into my soul, its not sadness I see but disappointment.  I was disillusioned into an environment I thought was real.  But the reality as it turns out is full of cracks that's slowly being filled with overpowering depression.  The reality that is LIFE.  MY life as I struggle to be a person that I thought was slowly building up its own name but now is slowly being stained with emotionally straining truths of life.  But I did start anew, or I thought so.  I should have realized long ago that the start was not from zero but beyond it in the X-axis.  A negative digit I cannot fathom to imagine and balance out... It may be just materially degrading, but in the world I am in, its dragging me to a pit."

Don't get me wrong.  I am not that depressed.  It was just one of those moments that I had to breathe it out and the only way is to write it down.  I felt 100x time better after writing that.  And when I got to where I was going, I somehow got over the "problem" and went on with my day.  I'm like that.  I try hard to leave all my worries behind so I could work on what's in front of me.  Rarely do i let my personal problems affect my work.  But sometimes, my personal life gets affected by my work.  That is something I have to work on.  I have this thinking that my family or my friends would understand more than my boss or co-workers.  But that's true right?  

My weekend was great.  It was a great bonding weekend with my husband and the kids.  One of those times that you'd like to remember and dwell on when depressing days, such as the one I had above, takes place.  

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