Sunday, January 31, 2016

The struggle is real!

I sit in front of my computer this Sunday night, last day of January, year 2016.  Still wondering and trying to figure out, the struggle we call life.

Where was I 20 years ago? 1996.  That was the last few months of my Senior year in high school.  During then, I was still awaiting the results of my college admission exams.  It was also the same time 20 years ago that I was in pain brought about by a high school love.  He just decided not to to speak to me after the Christmas break.  I was so confused and at a lost trying to understand what i had done that made him vanish my presence in his life, just like that.  Everyone was preparing for prom.  And he was partnered with someone from the lower year for the cotillion.  My partner was Serafin.  There I was 20 years ago, confused and lost, anxious about the future, in pain yet stayed strong.  

And 10 years ago? 2006. That was the year, we decided we to get married.  It was August 2006 when we told my parents about it.  We had dinner in Poquito Mas in Alabang to ask for their blessing.  That decision to get married must be one of the major decisions in my life that I was so sure of.  I knew we had differences, I knew that despite knowing him for years, the fact was that I still don't know him, I knew that it would be a struggle as we had different views on dozens of things.  But I also knew that that i was willing to learn and adjust for him. We got married 7 months later in 2007.

How about last year?  2015?  I was bothered and worried on some news going around the office about the boss then leaving the company.  When he replied to my message that we will have lunch the following day, i knew that it was true.  My boss then, is my favorite Boss in the world, I can go on and on with the good and the bad things about him, and I would still say that he's my favorite boss in the world. 

Where is this all going?  I really don't know... What I was trying to arrive at is the fact that the struggle is indeed real.  I want to make a difference in the world.  That's what I really want to do.  I just am not sure, which aspect of this life I can actually change.  How can I change the world when I can't even figure out myself?